I sit back down to write

It has been quite some time since the last time that I wrote on this blog. Five long months of action have occurred though at times the full set of action seemed from the outside as inaction. I am quite sure. However, the hardcore actions of inaction have produced effects of body and mind that relate very well to the process in so that I can vouch for myself that I have grown quite rapidly in these short months since July of this year and even to a much greater extent from the time that I worked as an engineer just thirteen months prior.

Now, my role of engineer (I lack the formal education, however the role was fully engineer) is far on the back of the mind, but at times I still dream to pick up the role again. I see it as the possibility to drive into the future the dreams that I have been thinking of for the last decades. All the possibilities that could come true are available now to access with the freedom of information and the increasingly powerful boon of technology that is now beginning to come anew. Yet, I see myself aligning to the role of ascetic yogi. The clash of those meshing statements is fairly dramatic.

In both of those directions, I want to drive into the unknown. Through technology and engineering, I could aim to build the machines that my mind already knows will work. Or to prove to them that they will. The proof would be grand for myself, yet the benefits are the results that I strive for. In the same fashion as that of the opposite path, of the ascetic yogi. That sounds absurd in this house, as I sit in the Christian household with little kids whom are children of a preacher. My family has many preachers and now I become the best of them all, with wisdom that they are not aware of (unfortunately). I plan to speak it to each of them, but I highly doubt any will accept the knowledge that I can bestow generously upon them. Of the ascetic yogi, I am pulled heavily. To gain the abilities of a Siddha is now calling my name. However, that requires likely more than I want to sacrifice. I really cannot imagine going through the extreme situations that really are required to be of such caliber of an individual, yet I have already begun towards the path in heavy ways. I have been participating in activities that defy tradition and have already produced life-changing results. I have already gained powers that I have also already lost. I have seen the devastating results of not following my proper path and I do not want to go through that again.

Those paths could be signified on the Tao. You know, the Ying-Yang symbol. The large white dot is Order. The large black dot is Chaos. If I were to become an engineer, then that would be to walk the path of order (typically). Yet the Chaotic path of healer is the path I currently find myself steering towards. Though, to walk the fine line would be to absorb some life from each of the sides. Yet to do so properly, one must deeply dive into either side and find the extremes.

I should not go into much detail on any subject. This is an introduction to warm my fingers and to ease into the role or writer or author. To allow my mind to dump the knowledge, lessening the load of fear of forgetting. Relieving the stress associated with closure. Knowing that I did my part to share wisdom that I generously received from many sources.

8:14pm 11.28.2018

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