There are many days when the thought arises to call my friend and to relay how I’ve just seen a copy of their sibling. A doppleganger perhaps (a person who is a near duplicate of [you] except with a different mindset). But I don’t call or text or send a facebook reply, because they sadly have passed-away. It bothers me that I cannot express my delight or sadness. With differing opinion about the circumstances of afterlife, I cannot fully express the views that I have. I cannot relate the love for the one that I thought I saw . . . or at least to the one who needs to hear.
Honestly, I cannot say that [they] were the ones that needed the sighting. Afterall, it is my eyes that were the witnesses of the appearance. It is my thoughts that arise in regards to the sighting. It is my emotions that stir in regards to the imagery of sadness or elation. While thinking of this story, I have two people that are vivid in description in my mind and without description, I will continue on. The both were dear to me, but absent in my recent years. Upon hearing of their deaths, I was shocked (as to be expected) with both being the victims of sudden and tragic medical events.
However, one friend passed several years ago, and the other just this year. My current mindset was vastly different for each. The first had come along during the time when I was dating my Ex. My mind teeter-tottered from Christianity to Pagan throughout our relationship. With her pushing me towards eclectic-christian beliefs, I was unsure and wary. The death came along and caused me to think towards the situation much. I obviously did not want my friend to be burning in Hell (where they could be!), yet I knew they had straightened up in recent years… I was a bit relieved, but wavering. Unsettled in my mind, I refused to think about it.
During the beginning of this year, another friend passed. Oddly enough, both funerals were massive. Both friends had extremely wide spread of influence of personality. The church building was packed to the gills, standing crowd around the pews. I sit now and tears come out, thinking of the specialness that both of these people had. I would love to describe now, but I don’t want to breach the trust for the story. On that day, it took all I had to not weep in front of everyone, even in my state of calm. My mood was relaxed, meditative, strong. The control was due to the wisdom that I have sought. Due largely to the belief that there is no worry over the Heaven and Hell situation. Much calmness was due to the deep breathe training as well.
Such a selfish attitude, to worry over their Heaven or Hell situation. As if it really would matter, as you’d never know one way or the other. What a horrible idea to place in someone’s brain that there is a choice of two destinations… one GOD AWFUL, the other absolutely wonderfully indescribable. Saying that we have a choice to pick one or the other, while many things go into the final decision and you don’t know when the judgement comes. Even while thinking that the body lies in the ground, due to the judgement not coming until Judgement Day, but then that day may not come for millenia. So then, to what happens to the soul that was attached to the body that needs to be judged? Where does it go in the process for people who’ve been cremated or eaten by tigers?! So many unanswered riddles from a Christian’s perspective. I never knew what to do with all the unsettled answers, except to ignore the issue all together… and just plan on going to Hell.
The attitude that has totally morphed because of a change in perspective now wants me to telephone that brother or sister and say that I’ve seen their sibling! But I fear that their views will clash heavily and perhaps even devastate their day. Thus I do not excitedly exclaim or even explain.
I know that I never finished writing my thoughts here and that I should continue on a bit.
The other way that I see my friends who have passed or who have left my side is through the actions of people I come across. For example, a certain style of beard and haircut combination or a quirky behaviour. Perhaps a quoted line or a commonly-said phrase. Little bits of personality that can be seen within another person or even through an inanimate object. A favorite animal or one of certain coloration could spike a memory that could have been enjoyed by a loved one. Many things in life: spices, moods, colors, varieties of any kind may inspire the memory of a friend.
In these moments of seeing a new person that reminds me of an old friend, I think about how much I miss them and would love to see them. But also, I want to share the experience with a mutual friend. However, typically, that case is not sound enough, due to clash of views of afterlife. Sadly, unfortunately, most people think that their loved ones who have passed on will never return.
If you only look around and open your heart and mind, you will see those people in the eyes of others. The others need the help that you know that your friend or loved one needed and they need to be helped also. With your insight towards your old friend, you have the best insight as to how to help these new folks.
*I must hit the road before traffic gets crazy!*
7:44am @ 12.8.2018